Damn Data Leak

10:38 AM me: Omg

I have to shit for the 3rd fucking time

Brb

10:39 AM Actually taking you with

Lol

John: lol

Dude what is wrong with your ass

10:40 AM me: I don't honestly know

The worst part is

My ass is goint to get chapped I bet from wiping with all this crappy toilet paper

10:41 AM God forbid they hook us up with some charmin ultra

10:42 AM I really hope my body wasn't hurt so badly that it is just now cleaning house

I gotta change some health portions of my life

10:43 AM Beginning with beer I think

And smoking

10:47 AM John: Beer is ok in moderation

Smoking may cause the shits

add coffee and the gates will be wide open

10:52 AM me: Coffee isn't going anywhere for me

John: Coffee and Tobacco stimulate the anus

me: I'd rather give up beer and smoking rofl

John: lol

me: So does my wife's strap-on

John: Thats hot

me: Oops

Data leak

Oooops

5:24 PM me: My throat is sore

I should cut back on the dick sucking

Oops

Wrong window

5:25 PM John: nice

I can't imagine what window that should go in

me: Diff "friend"

Lol

5:26 PM John: yeah

I like the quotes

ok, I am outtie

me: Lol

John: later

me: Piece

Women... Nuff Said

6:07 PM John: home

me: Lol

Still picking up din idn

John: wuts for din din

me: Taco hell for her, jitb for me

John: Nice

6:08 PM I will make dinner at 8:00 your time when the women gets home

me: Women??

Bastard!

John: lol

I turned to islam

asked to get my 50 virgins early

6:09 PM me: Lol

Good call

My Concern Really Is Genuine

7:45 PM John: sup homes

7:46 PM me: Hey hey

John: how u feeling

any better

me: Pooped again

*sigh*

John: lol

me: Working on laptop again

7:47 PM John: stil broke?

Tasha better?

me: For most part

She's sitting on couch

John: right on

7:48 PM I gotsta mah woman gettin meh dinna

7:49 PM OMFG

7:53 PM BTW, if you see on the news Liza was killed.....I did it

iTunes is fucked

me: Always has been

John: no, my itunes is fucked

she plugged into my external and loaded 1000 of her songs

7:54 PM My library went to 4500 and I was like WTF

me: Roflmao

John: its not funny

this is bS

me: Delete them

John: I am

7:55 PM but they are not together cause itunes won't list when loaded

so I have to go down the list

7:56 PM oh and all my Elvis is gone

7:57 PM ok, go back to laptop work

7:58 PM me: Kk

Tips For Proper Airplane Ettiquette

2:56 PM me: Fuckiung douche gate boarder

They board first class

Then families

John: what]\

me: Never call iut courtesy for elite

John: oh. United is 50/50 on calling premier

2:57 PM me: Then

THEN

I get up there once he calls 25 and higher

I'm 22

2:58 PM John: lol

me: I walk up anyways

He says "oh you're elite you can board at any time

Me: well I didn't hear a courtesay boarding call so I wasn't sure.

3:00 PM 3+ hour flight in the middle

This is gonna suck

Lots of cuties

John: lol

you got the bitch seat

how?

me: Nothing else open

:(

3:01 PM John: ROFL

me: All middle seat

When I booked

John: Hope you don't get 2 fat chicks on either side

me: So I book towards back of plan to avoid not having a spot up top for 360 by my seat

John: smart

me: Got a guy to my left

3:02 PM John: Is he cute

Is he brown?

Can he see this?

me: Stfu

Dick

John: lol

rofl

me: I closed convo window

Bitch

John: lol

me: Don't make me signb out

John: awesome

3:03 PM Its from swingers

me: Hehe

3:04 PM John: The guy trying to peak at your BB

I hate when people do that

Its like

"GET YOUR OWN FUCKING BB DOUCHE"

5 minutes

3:10 PM me: Lol

No he hasn't tried

John: The cabin door still open

WTF are they doing

3:11 PM me: Still boarding

John: good god

me: Aye

3:12 PM John: Atleast you get drink service

me: This is an interesting boarding

John: Oh yea

how?

3:13 PM me: Bah

Closing cabin door

Time to call tasha

John: k

tell her hi for me

3:14 PM me: Kk

Closing cabin door

3:15 PM John: safe flight

me: Talk at ya later homey

Tks

Hopefully

Got a big guy to my right

:( :( :(

John: rofl

touch yourself

Yes, We Are Professional

John: The examiner just wrote me back

2:30 PM All he put was, "Very professional"

me: lol

he must not be happy

i take it the guy died?

John: yup, it was a fatal

me: ouch

2:31 PM John: I stated the fact

me: and you wrote that?

good lord john

hahaqhahahhaha

John: what

it is in a email and it is the truth

it was a sooner than expected landing

in the dirt

me: hahahaha

2:32 PM John: The narrative is all professional and shit

me: oi vey that shit is funny

John: I am getting to the point of calling people stupid in the reports

ok, don't walk off with anyone. I will be right back

Score 1 for Baltimore

2:27 PM me: Suspect in Gruesome Sex Assault Mistakenly Set Free

John: Uncle henry is out

me: Ronald Lee Moore, 40, walked out of the Baltimore City Correctional Center last month after doing time for assault and burglary. What corrections officials did not know was that Moore was to remain jailed after being linked through DNA to the separate sexual assault case, the Sun reported. Corrections officials did not become aware of the mistake until Friday. Click here for the Baltimore Sun report. <http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/annearundel/bal-te.ar.escape20dec20,0,3454115.story?coll=bal_tab01_layout> On Oct. 23, 1999, a masked man forced his way into an apartment and told the woman living there that he would kill her baby if she made any noise. He then forced her to perform a sex act, shocked her with a cattle prod and punched her "numerous times" in the head before fleeing, according to records obtained by the Sun.

John: better tell Grandma better

me: lol

2:28 PM John: Betty

me: dude

i don't know why

but that reads funn

shocked her with a cattle prod and punched her in the head

John: lol

me: i mean come on

John: I do that to liza occasionally

me: haven't these journalists ever heard of a donkey punch?

John: lol

2:29 PM Shocked her with a cattle prod then donkey punched her

me: yea

John: sounds better