The Truth About Audioslave

11:46 AM me: my boss is becoming a serious knob

i dunno how much more i can take heh

11:50 AM John: thus the monkey porking the dog.

We are all dogs in life

14 minutes

12:05 PM John: male pron huh?

37 minutes

12:42 PM me: eww

John: Dave said you sent him some

me: ROFLMAO

yeah

one of our regional vps

John: nice

12:43 PM me: was a big wig when he was at corp

sick fuck

lol

John: Dave has been listening to Audio Slave for 15 fucking minutes

me: aye

John: The male pron must have gotten him in the mood

12:44 PM me: he listens to audioslave a lot

whined when they broke up

John: what did he expect

12:45 PM Audioslave was made up of guys who quit bands

Staaaaaaaaallllllkeeeerrrrr

9:02 AM John: Sup yo

53 minutes

9:55 AM me: ffs

it's a monday on a thursday

9:56 AM John: lol

9:57 AM I am telling you, burn the place down

9:58 AM me: brb

need warm coffee

13 minutes

10:11 AM John: KK

Got an tech question when you get back

10:13 AM me: back

forgot my coffee but i'm back

John: lol

10:14 AM Dude, how do you know who is looking you up on Google?

I am not saying I got caught stalking, but I am curious how someone knows you googled them

Chicks are cruel

me: Will do

Downstairs meditating currently

12:14 PM And don't worry about thge no response from hildewutevar, Gretchen did the same to me rofl

12:15 PM me tyhinks he skeered her

At least I didn't drunk type it and confess I secretly had a cvrush on her in high school heh

John: oh yea, she is next on my list

12:16 PM I think liz is pissed cause I was a dick to becca

frankly I am not in HS so I don't need to play Capt Friendly

12:17 PM me: sings "cry me a river" by justin timba-toddisabadass-lake

John: Plus I am not going to friend request every fucking person just to have a large number

me: Tru

John: stupid loser assfucks

me: Ditto

Lol

John: /me takes a deep breath

me: How do you really feel?

12:18 PM John: I feel proud to say I had a few good friend. Not OMG I had like 300 friends like

me: Aye

12:19 PM John: Acquaintances are not friends.

me: Very true

John: Like you. I count you are a good long time friend that we just got lazy on keeping up

Gretchen long, acquaintance

me: Aye ditto here

True

12:20 PM John: ok, next subject

so I got this boil on my sac

j/k

me: Lemme send you the scan I did of my new genital wart

John: lol

So I got these weird bumps around my rectum

12:21 PM me: You shoulda seen the faces on the HR gals when I slapped my thunderstick on the big xerox copier

John: lol

BOOOMSTICK

me: LoL

You know

I have been wondering to myself

John: http://www.geocities.com/mathias59601/boomstick.jpg

about what?

12:22 PM me: I wonder if I could ever find a chick who was ok with me yelling out "HEADSHOT!!" After giving her a facial.

John: ROFL

12:23 PM Oh my god you made me spit my rice on the desk

me: Hahahahaha

John: That needs to be saved

me: Haha

12:24 PM Can't wait for that one to be brought up over coffee when we're 60

John: can't wait to steal it and use it this weekend

me: Hahahahahaha

12:25 PM John: I would be worried about the chick you find that lets you do that

12:26 PM More over, whatelse does she want you to do

Scary Haircut

3:58 PM John: Hey

you getting a haircut

is this thing vibrating in your pants

3:59 PM so she thinks yous a pervert getting your jollys off

and don't you dare hit silent

8 minutes

4:07 PM John: Yup still here

7 minutes

4:15 PM John: so hows the hair

BB still vibrating? I sure hope so

4:16 PM Maybe the asian will say "You rerry get arot of phone carrs. Very popurar you are. ROR"

11 minutes

4:27 PM me: Lol

4:28 PM Fucking thought the network was dowm

John: so was it vibrating?

me: I looked at my bb while I was sitting down

And started laughing

4:29 PM Had to say I got a joke email

Turd

John: you like the ROR

I aim to please

me: Lol

4:30 PM Still laughin after rereading

John: :)

me: In grocery store looking stupid

John: You trying to figure out what Shit Take mushrooms are?

me: Had to get milk, khalua n vodka, yanno essentials

4:31 PM John: mmm, stuff for a growing boy

me: She offer to "doa mah eyebows on ta syde

John: Khalua n Vodka at the G Store

nice

me: No

John: put some slashes through them

me: I get my haircut in between grocery store and liquor store

4:32 PM John: nice

4:33 PM me: Lol was funny

4:34 PM I go to haircut place

Sit down

And I'm trying to scope out the chick gfetting her hair cut

It's freaking tasha

Lol

4:36 PM She fucked up my hair too

4:37 PM Sorry but "2 faded up tight on top spiked in front" isn't that hard

And shouldn't take30 minutes

4:40 PM John: lol

Fantastic sams

me: Lol close

Great clips

4:41 PM Damn communists

John: Tasha was there

me: Yea

John: you were checking out your own wife?

Do you need glasses

4:42 PM I mean not being able to recognize your own wife is bad

me: Lol

John: but even worse checking out your wife thinking she is someone else is worse

me: I'm telling her what you said

Rofl

4:44 PM John: nice

4:45 PM me: I would think it would b a compliment

John: Don't feel bad, I once said "Dayum baby" to a little hispanic girl not realizing it was liza.

But I wear glasses

and didn't have them

Freaking Colombians...

12:30 PM John: David says:
i dont want todd on my team,
*punches fist into hand
John says:
why
John says:
he make the ghey comments again
David says:
its payback time
David says:
naw just want to own him a bit
John says:
OK

12:32 PM me: john don't be on his team

it sucked enough not having anyone on my team last time

he shows up late he plays catchup with whoever

dammit

*punches fist in to his hand*

12:34 PM don't do this to me john

John: on phone with keven

he had sugery today

me: on what? he ok?

it was a colombian's fault wasn't it

12:35 PM John: Gall bladder surgery

me: i knew it!!

colombian coffee fault

he doing better?

John: 'doesn't drink coffee

12:36 PM He is graugy(sp) but can't sleep

me: even worse, colombian terror elves that inject their poin in the middle of the night

poin = poison

John: lol

me: but he's doing ok?

John: yup

me: good

12:37 PM make sure there are no colombians in the hospital he's in, they may try to finish him off

oh no i've said too much

he comes one coming for me

oh n/m, just dave

John: lol

and I will be on your team

Don't be like that baby

10:30 PM me: Yo

10:31 PM John: sup homes

what cha painting?

me: Ooooooh not much, sleeping in the guest room

Heh

John: why?

10:32 PM painting the bedroom?

me: She painted the bathroom this weekend and I finished the vaulted cieling part and the connecting wall into the amster bedroom

Yea but no she's sleeping in there and asked me to sleep in here

10:33 PM Because she apparently didn't like that I was watching the texans game instead of coming right to bed

John: lol

me: I fucking fast forwarded through the entire game and watched 2.5 hrs of football in about 30 to 45 minutes

John: so...let me get this right since I am a tad drunk

me: Lol

10:34 PM John: Since you watched football you have to sleep in the G room

and she is sleeping in the M room?

me: Yeah

Because apparently she took it as the football game was more important than her

John: because of football

me: Yep

John: she is making you sleep in the guess room

me: Lol

10:35 PM John: Dude I am sorry

me: Retarded

Si

John: When liza is pissed she leaves the bed and goes to the couch

I am sorry

me: Meh, whatever, guess I'm not going to go have lunch with her tomorrow

John: But how was the game

Still go to lunch

me: Goooood

John: see

me: We won

John: but don't tell her that

me: Meh fuck that

John: lol

10:36 PM ok, tell her it was an awesome game and worth it

:)

me: Hahahahahahahaha

Linux and cars, so seldom discussed together

John: Linux is for basement living WoWtards

10:15 AM me: Fu

John: lol

Its ok, you will grow up to be a real man one day and move out of your parents basement. Now don't forget your sword of azerband before your next guild adventure

10:16 AM me: ....

Whatever beard failure

John: Do you throw paper balls at people while wearing a cape and say "lightning bolt" "lightning bolt"

10:17 AM hugs

I am only kidding

I am ready to get down there

me: No but I own my house bitch

Lol

I know

Me too

John: oh.....throwing the home ownership in the mix....that is low

10:18 AM me: Lol

John: you haven't moved 6 times in 4 years

me: It's ok my car is about to cost me a couple grand

John: Thats wut you get for buying Japanese

me: Brakes, tasha's brakes, timing belt

Tuneup

And other shit

10:19 AM John: Merican V8 power don't need tune ups

me: Yea I shoulda gotten a ford so I could just leave it on the soide of the road

John: Its just start up and rumble and gooooo

lol

MOPAR or no car

me: Just a better warranty

Lol

John: I really like chryslers warranty

I can bust my suspension and the warranty covers it

10:20 AM me: Sorry but the last reliable american car I owned was the mini van

That makes a pretty good statement of the status of why american makers are in the pits

Unions and shit product

John: minivan rocked

Aftermarker suspension

10:21 AM me: Self changing oil system

John: Well....I should say Rancho aftermarket

me: Just fill it up every couple months

Let it drain itself

John: but I am limited to 3"

what car does that

yours or the Mrs?

10:22 AM me: My minivan did

John: no shit

that is good for the enviroment

me: Oh yeah I forgot the v8 were better

Lol good for the environment

Like any cras are...

10:23 AM John: I miss my hemi